need less, use less

Don't bring me down, I pray. Oh pretty baby, Now that I found you, stay

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 10:56:37 GMT

Life is not that horrible, but damn, some things are just out there to annoy me, isn't it? It's quite frustrating if I am to be honest. But I am trying to keep my head above the water. It ain't easy. And it sure ain't funny that my eyes are living fountains of tears either. Trying however. It's not so many days till I get back to the dorm either. (I sort of can't wait, haha... *shifty*)

Going to see Avatar in the cinema today. Looking forward to it :)

Had a decent conversation with the guy yesterday on msn. It doesn't happen often. Sure we didn't talk about something serious (I guess... Depends on who is reading lol). But he was writing back loads. I was like... oO (He is usually very dull over msn and are rarely talking -_-) So, clearly, maybe, I have no idea because guys frustrate me and are quite annoying these days, but maybe he is okay with the idea to talk with me over msn. Even if it just as a friend. I like hanging with him, we have fun together so... Yeah. I dunno.

Also, don't you just hate it when someone is in your face waving around like their life is so much better than yours (this is not pointed to anyone in particular btw)? It is frankly just so... Depressing.

I wish I had an angel For one moment of love

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 22:38:38 GMT

I hid away the previous entry because it was too depressive really to see everytime I pulled up LJ. Plus, I don't know... I guess I just needed to rant away there, and I did. And now I just wanted to hide it away because I don't want to see it. I remember it, but I don't want it to become a sad reminder, you know?

Today was fun. :) Me, brother and his gf and mah sister we went shopping. Burnt loads of money, but I got loads of new stuff. It was really great. Plus, it feels more... Natural hanging out with them now then it did before. Was I really that much of a pain before? I dunno. But I enjoyed my day quite loads. And then we dyed my hair! It's real shiny now :D

Otherwise, not much to say. I'll keep going. That's what I apparently do best, yeah? Sure, I am down sometimes, cry and wail like a child too. But hey, everyone breaks down. The thing you got to do is to get up again.

Should really have gone to bed, said that to my brother and his gf before as we were playing Guitar Hero.

Yet, I am here anyhow online still. lol fail. xD

Destiny is calling me Open up my eager eyes 'Cause I'm Mr Brightside

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 12:55:07 GMT

Okay, so I said I would list what I got for my birthday and also for Christmas. :D

Birthday:
- money from my grandma
- an AWESOME painting from my sister featuring the Tardis
- a makeupbag and some makeup from parents and brother
- hugs :D (hey, it counts. xD)

Christmas:
- candy and some money from two of my friends (total surprise on these)
- money from my grandma
- "The Host" from my sister, brother & brother's gf
- special painting paper (dunno what else to call it -_-) from same as above
- a painting set with pens and one of those dolls (for reference) and colours etc from parents
- a cream for my face from parents
- headphones from parents

I think that was it? *rubs chin* If I have forgotten something, then sorry. My own gift for my birthday was my cellphone, which I bought like... Eh, a month earlier? Still, it was my birthday gift for myself. I didn't really get myself something for X-mas. I probably will at some point, but then again it doesn't matter. I buy loads of things for myself all the time. LOL

Having like a Bleach marathon today. I love Bleach so much and I am glad that I decided to get back into it again. I am having a hard time to access other shows atm and anime is easier to find online to watch. Hopefully things will get better when I sit at my own internet and can do as I wish be. *eyeroll*

Also, Merry Christmas yet again! ♥

I will not pretend I will not put on a smile I will not say I'm all right for you

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 12:43:23 GMT

Let's start at a happy note: MERRY CHRISTMAS to those that celebrate. If there is someone that isn't, happy holidays to you! ♥

Okay, something else. So, I was at the dentist this Monday. Which itself just by mentioned the dentist everyone is like "awh, that sucks :(" . Yes, it sucks. It is the royal pain OF MY WALLET. ... Ahem. Anyhow, I was there. And it was all things weird.

First off, scarf. Stop getting stuck in the zipper of my jacket! That was so embarssing being stared at a dentist and her assistant. They didn't even think it was funny, which made it even more LAME. Also, you two working here. Stop talking about your job experiences when you are trying to fix my tooth. It is disturbing and I am scared for my teeth's sake. Not that they care, but I bloody do.

And the nerve of the dentist when she was done. "Oh, now comes the sad part." FOR WHO? FOR ME? Yeah, probably. FOR MY WALLET? Yeah, it almost got raped by you, but it will survive. PAYING IS SAD? WELL NOT FOR YOU OBVIOUSLY YOU GET YOUR FAT PAYCHECK EVERY MONTH. Bloody hell. I was so pissed on the inside I forgot to bloody say merry Christmas and the like. Not that they did either. But whatevs.

My headphones have decided to DIE on me. At least the left side. I am stuck with my earplugs to my mp3player. How is my ears? IN PAIN. Do I care? Not really, as long as I can hear my music.

Gah!

Next up is the guy. Oh boy, can he confuse me more? He is really getting on my nerves with his ways on msn. It is not as if he is doing anything wrong or inappropriate... I just don't get him. He is random, and he surely is weird. Guys needs to stop being so damn confusing, dammit.

'kay. Done ranting for now. I... Will return with Christmas-y rants probably later or tomorrow. And like what I got for presents. I should list what I got for my birthday as well maybe? Hmm. Yeah.

to the land of what-might-have-been

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 21:57:13 GMT

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy

The next line in this song is "I'm Not That Girl", which is also is the title from the song from Wicked.

I really hope I am that girl.

But I don't know.

I feel pathetic for wishing like I do. And I miss him. I miss them all at the dorm too. I have realised how amazing some of the people are there. And he... He makes me so happy just by being there.

I don't want it to end next year.

I need you to need me so we're bound to linger on

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 19:53:22 GMT

Birthday: It was brilliant. :) Couldn't wish for more, really. And it is so strange to be 20 now! No longer a teenager. So weird. And I can't say I've been depressed about it either. More or less I have accepted that I am getting older. Me and my friends joke about it and say that I am old now and lol it is funny. xD

Lovelife: It makes me want to cry. I am head over heels for this guy at the dorm. I just know that we would be good together. He however has no interest in my like that (we are good friends however which is nice), but even if his words of text say one thing, is actions say things differently. It is very strange. The whole situation is really fishy. I just hope that he will realise what he is doing and maybe if he have feelings admit to them. I have only one term left and you know... I want something to happen before I leave school. Really. He is just... So damn amazing. And I can't get over him. He is just... Like made for me. Which sounds stupid and completely fangirly, but seriously. It is just something about him. And I haven't seen him in a bit over a day and I miss him terribly. I really do wish for him and me. I really do. And I feel ashamed sometimes of how much I do feel for him. I haven't known him for that long... But you know. GAH! It makes me so frustrated all of this! :(

Otherwise: Ehm... Dunno what to say. My life has been so busy with hanging out with my rl friends, I am not sure what to do with all this online time I have now. :S

Rosy cheek and ruby lip, better than banana split

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:45:08 GMT

First off, my computer has moodswings, so we'll see how it goes to post this entry and whatnot. It has issues, and I can't figure out what it is. I might just try to save money to a new computer, or whatnot. It is probably for the best anyhow. I've had this one for ages, but we'll see. Not really top priority.

Otherwise... I have been real hurt by someone who I thought was my friend in school. Seriously, she is one real false person to me now. I am not really going to explain why and how, but what she did, it was hurtful. Is it so hard to be a nice to me? Seriously. I believed the best about her and she just destroyed it. I mean, I am just human, I have faults too, but it as if I can't even be happy according to her or something. Ugh. :( I'm glad that I have better and other friends than her, anyhow. They are brilliant. <3

School is going fine. :)

And birthday on Sunday! OMG, I am going to be twenty. O.O Seriously... I am so stunned that I am getting THAT old already. I still miss being like a kid... I am so childish sometimes still, so at least I have not lost that. xD

And yay for cake for birthday too! I love cake. :D

I try to breathe Memories overtaking me

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 10:11:11 GMT

So, what's been happening lately with me? Loads, I would say. Or not as much as I wished. Well, with school, things are moving steady forwards to the goal, and hopefully it will be as good as I hope for when we go on break for Christmas. Then it's going to be quite stressful really to make things just fall into place. Money, new apartment and everything else. If everything goes as it should, next year I will be living in my own and real and first apartment. And that's scary. But hopefully it will be alright. I am taking it slow. I'll let you know if it all fucks up and I have to move back to my parents or whatnot. :P

My love life... It just confuses me. And let's just leave it at that. I have no idea what is going on, but hey, I'm fine with that. Nobody ever said that love and that shiz was easy. That is just simply bullshit if they try to say that. :P

Watched 2012 in the cinema last night with the dorm. Well, that is one movie I don't need to see again. *shrug* Going to watch New Moon next week with my siblings! Which is going to be a movie I look forward to. Let's see how cracktastic it's going to be this time around. :P And almost all tickets were gone when we got ours.... I fear the fangirls that might be there. *shudder*

Otherwise... Not much to say. I'll hopefully get back online more often soon, but right now I rather just do other things lol. And my mood just swings back and forth and it's not so easy to try to focus on something at my computer for some reason. It just starts to annoy me and I walk away most of the time anyhow. Yeah...

hold me and love me

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:01:40 GMT

so things are going... Well i'm not really sure to be honest. Right now I'm sick from taking that vaccin thing against the swine flu.

And the guy I like at the dorm? Well... He appaerently only like me as a friend. But I probably won't try to get over my feelings just like that. Why? Because it feels like... Something is there anyhow. An no, it's just not that I'm in denial. When he looks my way... It's something that says there is more behind the words. But we just have to wait and see.

i want your love and i want your revenge

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 12:07:16 GMT

so I've not posted in a while an now I am at my parents place updating from my cellphone lol. So much has happended with my feelings to I can sure tell you that.

So yeah I liked that guy I've mentioned here before. I mean, he and I might maybe work nicely together but there are so many things in the way I sorta feel like I should not bother...

Hence there is this real cute guy that lives at the dorm. He has caught my eye more than once... I really want to give him a chance. Becauce there is something there. We texed back and forth yesterday and there was that flirty spark there. Then again I could be blind but I don't think so...

we'll see what happens. I'll keep people updated lol or something. XD

But darling when I see you, I see me

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:20:11 GMT

I never thought - This is not what I'm like
I never thought - This is not what I do
I never thought - This is not what I'm like
I never thought - I think I'm falling for you
I never thought -
I never thought -
That I could feel this something
Rising, rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again

[...]

Its alright I never thought I'd fall in love again
The Magic Numbers - I See You, You See Me

I don't really have much to say today. I'll probably do a longer entry soon with a current update with my life and stuff. :)

I just love this song. It just... It's hard to explain.

How many times have you told me you love her? As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:57:44 GMT

Today went quite well, considering I had a dentist appointment. I went to my parent's place yesterday and there I slept over and in the very early morning (the appointment was at 8, I woke up at 6) I got up. I was so tired. I really just couldn't feel my body. I had barely six hours of sleep, so yeah.

One of my repair things had fallen off (like you know they put like plastic on your teeth or what not lol) so I have to go to the dentist again in December. Sigh. It's so damn expensive I just want to cry. I really just want to cry like epicly much about it, but I rather have nice teeth than more money I guess.

I meet one of Andy's friends on the bus halfway back. xD Was really nice to just sit and chat with him like that. ^^

Right now I feel so empty and lonely. It's like I have a black hole inside my chest. And it just hurts. It really do.

And I just want to tell the guy that I like that I like him. But I'm very much terrified. I probably should just be silent forever when it comes to that when I do in fact talk to him.

It's probably for the best. Yeah.

Their words mostly noises Ghosts with just voices

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:17:12 GMT

It's Halloween for those that celebrate it. We really don't do that in Sweden, but happy Halloween to those that celebrate it. xD

Tomorrow I head back to the dorm. I'm bringing my computer with me, so I'll be online and stuff. Otherwise I don't really have that much to say today.

But anyhow...

Yeah. New month tomorrow. Let's see what this coming month has to offer. I know for sure I won't be taking part in NaNoWriMo this year. Decided against it. I have other things to focus on. Otherwise, with the coming month I hope that something good happens. Fingers crossed. :)

I'm thinking all the time How to tell you what I feel

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 10:37:56 GMT

Today feels like a very good day. :)

Yesterday evening, after a random outburst of anger and just depression, I came to some sort of calm where I realised that I couldn't keep lying to myself. I do have feelings for this other person. Even if I am still stuck in a post breakup kind of feel, it doesn't feel as horrible as it did the first week. And my feelings had been fading anyhow a bit. But I am moving on, and moving forward.

And it sure feels so good to not lie to oneself. I'm so happy. Because I can finally work with this now. And make sure things are better and hope and just be me. I was just so tired of pretending that I was something else when it came to my feelings.

I just hope this good feeling will last for a long time. It's been a while. :)

But don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't wanna know

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 08:44:50 GMT

I'm not sleeping really well lately, because I feel tired, even if I've slept about 7 hours or so. I must not really be going into deep sleep and just be relaxed. Which sort of sucks, but I dunno what to do about it. I still function anyhow.

Haven't had breakfast yet, but when I've done so and taken a smoke, it's time to make a to do list and then start working on things. I am planning to throw in some icon making in between homework and other things. I haven't done an icon post in ages. So we'll see. :)

Things are still the same with the complicated stuff. I'm not sure if it's real feelings or just loneliness, but it has not faded away, that's for sure. I really want to just it either go away or me to be certain. But the last choice scares me. And I have no idea why. :(

Ohh, I'm so damn hungry. Time to go downstairs and eat. :P

Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:05:56 GMT

The feelings I've mentioned yesterday and earlier today?

Well... I think I am falling for someone. For the third time. Oh yes. It's for the THIRD bloody time.

And I don't think I have moved on completely from Andy, not really no. Yet, my heart is aching for this... Other person. And it's not wrong to fall for this person. He is one nice guy, yes, and... Well, let's not go there. I need to focus on not thinking of it.

I'm not even sure if these feelings are real, or if it's just if I'm lonely or not. But it's taking over my dreams (I accidently took a nap that lasted for two hours not ten min) and it's like there and it feels real.

I'm so bloody screwed that even that doesn't begin to cover it.

*sigh*

You could be my white night And I could be your fairy tale

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:49:34 GMT

Nope. Sleep sure did not help it all. I am still feeling like that. And it doesn't help when some people are morons, which makes me even more annoyed at things. I'm very much annoyed at myself... For even going there again. AGAIN. -_- I mean, I know that I sometimes are what I are, but even this is... Seriously. *sigh*

On some other note, going to see This Is It tonight with my siblings in the cinema. :) Going to be fun! :D We rarely all of do something together, so it sure is going to be interesting. And I have wanted to see the movie as well so.

And I really need to get some homework done today. Heh.

I feel you in my heart and I don't even know you

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 23:09:12 GMT

You know the saying third time is the charm? Or whatever saying that is similar. Yeah, well. Really, the opposite. I feel so stupid. I have not done anything, so let's not even go there at all. No, it's just my head. My head gets these... Feelings.

And I am going to be cryptic as hell, because I am not really comfortable, but I just want to rant a little about it. I feel so stupid.

This is the third time around my head goes there. It's not as if it something that leads anywhere, it's just...

I really sound stupid just by trying to be cryptic as well on the top of it. Ha well. I just can't go into any kind of detail.

Really. It would just make it worse. For me mostly.

Please just kill me now. Or remove my head. Or well some of my emotions.

Seriously.

*headdesk*

It's laughter that kept me sane And my choice could not be rattled

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 13:22:44 GMT

It's been quite much this week. First, I was in school from Monday to Wednesday, then I came here to my parent's place for my grandmother's funeral on Thursday. It was a lovely funeral (as in the way such thing can be lovely...). Really sad. :( Then I went back to the dorm to be in school on Friday, and then back here to my parent's place in the afternoon. Travelling by bus sure is boring, I just have to say. -_- Plus, no interesting people at all!

However there was that weird hot dog guy... *shudders* And the annoying idiot that talked like EPIC LOUD on his cellphone. Didn't make it better that it was in a language that I did not understand so it was BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. For at least ten minutes. The weird hot dog guy, well, I was waiting for dad to pick me up yesterday. And this nice car with all the curves in the right places kind of care drives up and then stops outside the store. And knowing me, I was like... Woo! Nice car, nice owner maybe? ... I shuddered when I saw him. He was this dude around 40-50 and all he did was buy hotdogs and then walk around (which made me internally call out for dad to get here already lol)... Then he drove off.

Believe me... I was like... WTF??!

Otherwise, I have a week off now! Woo. Feels good for sure. ^^

And I am addicted to Facebook games. I currently play... 9 games. *shifty* No wait, I think it might be 10. And like two that I started playing but can't be bothered with. HAHAHA. Addiction, I haz it!

Fic: Because We... (Ashelle, Jothello, Apollia) PG-13

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:00:48 GMT

Title: Because We Need, Because We Crave and Because We Love (1/1)
Author: flowdab
Pairing/Character: Ashelle, Jothello, Apollia
Disclaimer: EC world was not created by me.
Word Count: 420
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Because we need each other, because we crave to be with each other and because we love to be with one and another.
Spoilers/Warnings: not really.
Author's Note: This is what happens when you walk to school and get random inspiration. Apollo, Michelle, Othello is mine. Jonah belongs to richts, Ashton belongs to sobriquet_27 and Allia belongs to aftersix. This is AU, by the way.

It was a very few things that made Michelle want to stay in Southlyn. Her family, well, her one brother was not one of them. Even if she loved him and he was family, it all felt very distant to her. He had his own things to take care of anyhow, that’s what she felt.

Other than the obvious of being around the comfortable sense of home, it was one thing that made her want to stay the most.

Him.

Ashton.

She knew that when she came to him, late at night because she was lonely and sad and wanting to leave, she knew she couldn’t walk away.

She kissed him, with desperation and urge, and somehow he knew and didn’t ask. Because she clung to him like it was the only thing that kept her there, and it really was.

Because he was her Ashton.

And she was his Michelle.

~*~

Othello knew that one day maybe he would have to let go. But he didn’t really want to, because she was everything to him now. Jonah, his Jonah, his very own Celestial General. And she may have loads of responsibilities, but he knew that she was his and everything else, mostly, didn’t matter.

It was in the meetings, between desperate gasps and needy kisses; he always told her that he loved her. She never answered back, but he knew that a small part of her loved him back.

Just that tiny part of the whole amazing her, loved him back.

And he was all kinds of wrong, he was not a Celestial, he was not the right kind of Paladin, he was not the man he maybe should have been.

But he kept holding on to that tiny piece.

And hoped it would last forever.

~*~

He had always liked to dance, and he enjoyed twirling her around. Sometimes he saw Isis when she slightly turned away, and sometimes he saw Aloja’s face haunting and making faces. But when she came back into his arms, she was Allia.

And he knew that he would always love her. It was when with her he felt whole again, and nothing could break them apart. She had given him everything, giving up herself, her life…

And he could never give her up.

He loved dancing with her, close and near, because he sometimes felt like he could see her halo. She must be an angel, he figured.

And he promised himself that he would never do anything to taint her halo.

Dead disco, Dead funk, Dead rock and roll, Remodel

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 18:53:22 GMT

Welcome to flowdab! :D Which I am now known as instead of ducky__duck :D And if you read it backwards, it says Bad Wolf, obviously. ;)

Got a new layout as well, featuring my favourite male celebs at the moment (Jensen Ackles, Jared Leto & Alexander Skarsgård)

Life feels good. Don't know why, really, because going to a funeral tomorrow and well, things are not so perfect. But you know, I feel good. And that is what matters. I fell down, and heavy into depression.

Now, I don't know why, but it feels like I can do anything. Heh. :3

And I feel in the absence of heart

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 21:55:47 GMT

And I breathe cause it's necessary
And I sigh when I see the moon
I dream to make sleepless boring

[...]

I wear this angel's crown
To cover up my devil's frown
And upon my broken chest
Lay a struggle between loneliness
And things that are out of place
Like my head in outer space
And the carpet you walked on
The ceiling that cries, "Please don't walk away."

Automatic Loveletter - "Unhearted"

Sometimes it feels okay.

But sometimes it feels I am so broken and I can't fix it.

Like now.

Fast I fade away - it's almost over

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:18:31 GMT

It all has fallen apart. My grandmother died about a week ago. Yesterday he broke up with me. School is going like crap. And I am just falling apart.

I wrote this for NaNoWriMo last year.

No, I haven't cut myself. (Yet. Struggling.) But I just... Might explain how I really feel. Or how I wish I could feel.

Violence to her own mind. To her own body. She wanted blood, just like vampire. But she wanted it to leave her body. She didn't want to drink it. She wanted to push it out. Make it leave. Make it hurt. She hated it. Every day, every scar and every tear.

She just wanted it all to go away. She stared at the door, and then at her bloody arm. The blood was dripping off her, slowly, like rain that was about to end. It looked so lovely, she was mesmerized. By her own blood.

It was thrilling. It was hurting. And it was so amazing. She loved watching herself bleed. But she didn't want to die. She wanted to see more. She wanted to be able to hurt herself more. Watch people hurt more too. She wanted to see. She wanted to feel.

Everything.

Just about everything.

[...]

And she longed for the silence. The uncomfortable silence. Because silence was her friend. That friendship wasn't forced. It was there, and she loved it for just being there.

Yet, she longed to be cared for. Silence didn't care. It was there. It didn't do much. It was simply there, and she couldn't talk with it. It was if talking to a wall, really. She missed the words, the words from her mouth, dripping off her like the tears from her eyes.

Her eyes was dry. She couldn't cry now. She had cried enough for this moment. The blood was a small pool under her, and she was leaned up against the wall. Looking up at her ceiling window.

She would cry more if she could. She wanted to, but yet she wasn't sure she wanted to. Shadows moved before her eyes, shadows moved outside the window and shadows moved in her mind. The darkness was pressing at her being, at her small body. Her eyes wandered. A little girl appeared before her, staring.

She was seeing things, it was clear. The girl stared at her, at it's her past calling for her. It's so strange, but she stares back. Then her eyes forces her to blink. And it's all gone. Her head falls to the side, resting at the other wall. She was sitting in the corner of her room.

[...]

She awoke an hour later. Her head felt dizzy. She moved a hand to her hair, moving it out of her face. Her other arm felt stiff, and almost dead. She slowly got up. She walked over to her full size mirror.

Staring at her reflection. It was hurting to see herself so down. Her dark hair so messed up. Her arms covered in blood. The faded look in her eyes. She was fading away, so slowly.

I'm falling apart.

Withdraw a step away, just to find my self The door is closed again, the only one left

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 12:47:14 GMT

I don't really know what's wrong with me these days. I just feel awful and I say loads of stupid things on the top of it. I'm depressed, because I feel like nothing. I feel like someone that is never good enough and someone that can never be somebody. Not maybe all of the people out there understands how that feels, but let me tell you... It sucks. It sucks so much.

I am considering just leaving some parts of the internet. I'll probably still have my LJ and stuff, but some stuff... I want to let them go. Why? I would just do everyone a favour in leaving. Clearly, nobody really cares online. Offline it's slightly different, those closest to me cares.

Otherwise, people are just selfish bastards. I know I am selfish too, but hey, it's human nature apparently. And I know I expected too much. I expected that people did like me and care for me, but hey... I believe the best in people. I really should stop with that.

I just end up getting disappointed all the time.

And that sucks even more.

Also? I'm sorry that I am such a screwed up being. It's not my fault.

Under your skin feels like home Electric shocks on aching bones

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 19:37:00 GMT

Well... Loads of things happened yesterday, strangely enough. I know I updated my LJ and not much had happened then and then poof! One of the most dramatic days in a while. It all started out with the fact that we went to play street hockey and I was really worked up about it and used up like all my energy during the time we played. I also fell at some point and hurt my knees a bit. Not too horrible, but it hurt :(

And then we went to the store to buy some food because we hadn't eaten dinner (and I had been eating quite not much so I was hungry as hell and tired as fuck)... And after I paid for my things and went to grab my stuff I fainted. Just poof down on the floor. Wasn't too horrible. One other customer came to help and then there was one of the personnel at the store that came and helped as well. Some people are just real nice. :)

Now today, my body is in general pain. My muscles are not used to be overworked, but other than that, I am pretty much okay. Could have been better, but I didn't get like any sleep like last night. It was horrible and I hate turning back and forth in bed. (So I wasn't in school today either...)

I hope that I can restore my energy enough so I can manage a week in school at least. I need to go there, dammit.